Don't Give Into Holiday Stress

Around the holidays, it seems as though everything is done in excess and some people just don't know where to stop. But learning to say no, and having a sense of humor, can help you get through the holidays without letting the stress get the better of you.Heres are ways to keep the holidays fun.

•Avoid excess wherever possible, whether it be with money, food or decorating. Extremes are always unhealthy. Too much of anything is too much. Click here to read more on excessvie gift giving.

•Set realistic expectations. Get over the idea that you can avoid holiday stresses entirely. Develop your own strategies to cope. They have incredibly high expectations around the holiday season, but bringing those down to a more realistic level is imperative. Don’t get too caught up in thinking that that one day will be perfect. Families are families, no matter what the time of year. Thinking personality conflicts will magically go away during Christmas is unrealistic and unhealthy.

•Be flexible If your children are married, realize that they are no longer just part of one family unit, but also with their spouse's family. If they have children, respect that they will want to start traditions of their own.

•Don’t be a slave to tradition if it just doesn’t work for you anymore.

•Remind yourself that you can’t please everyone. Don’t try. A holiday can quickly become a nightmare if you struggle to please everyone. Before marriage you may have loved holidays, but soon after you may have dreaded it because it was a lose/lose situation. If you went to one family event, you ruined the "way it's always been" for another. Don’t try to please everyone by bustling from one house to another at the expense of being unable to start your own family traditions.

•It's OK to say no. I repeat - it’s okay to say no. People must learn to prioritize their holiday to-do lists and learn when to not take on any more, whether it be bringing another dish to the family dinner or buying a present for a work gift exchange. Although pushy people don't always make it easy, there is nothing wrong with saying no. Conflict arises when we continually agree to things that please everyone but ourselves or when we commit to tasks for which we have no time or desire. Too many adults, and children are over-scheduled.

•Conversely, there is something wrong with refusing to take no for an answer. Individuals have a rights to decide what they can do and what they can't do. They can't do it all, so you must learn to respect their priorities and accept that their priorities might not mesh with your priorities. Holidays are a time to come together not a time to dictate or be bossed around.

•Accept differences. What is a holiday priority for you may not be a priority for your cousin, mother, or brother. Celebrate individuality. Everyone is happier when they have a say in when and how they celebrate. Let them.

•Live in the now. Don’t borrow troubles. Put aside holiday worries. Get nauseous thinking about seeing Aunt Thelma next Sunday? Worry about that Sunday, not the week before.

•You don't have to decorate the neighborhood. Be realistic. Everything you take out will have to be put away. You don’t want your Easter stuff still up on the 4th of July. Do what fits with your style, your life."

•Remember, money doesn't grow on trees. Sometimes people get so wrapped up in buying gifts that they overindulge and end up spending far more than they should. Set a budget and live by it. As trite as it sounds, it is still the thought that counts.

•A holiday is not a competitive event.

•There is no such thing as a perfect gift. Don't stress yourself out over trying to find it or wondering why you didn’t receive it.

•Don’t stress over a 12-course dinner. It's about being together. Some of the best fellowship happens around the table; it doesn't matter what's being served.

•Focus on what matters. What really matters? It's playing ping pong or taking hikes or sitting around the living room watching a movie. It's talking out on the deck. It's catching up on each other’s lives and enjoying each